Olympic Torch relay stuck in slow traffic behind tourist caravan in Cornwall

'Are we nearly in Stratford yet?'

The Olympic Torch got off to a slow start on its tour of Britain after getting caught behind Brian and Cynthia Jennings on the A30 in West Cornwall.

The Stourbridge based Jennings’ Ford Mondeo and Avondale Access caravan were making their way back to the Midlands after spending a quiet week touring the highways and by-ways of Cornwall. Despite the flashing lights and motorcycle outriders of the Olympic convoy, Brian stuck resolutely to the 35 mph he has felt comfortable doing in country lanes for the last 40 years of happy caravan touring. The hold up only ended when Brian pulled over to a lay-by so they could empty their sanitary tanks and sip a well earned cup of tea from a plastic flask cup, blissfully unaware of the traffic that had built up behind them.

After this, the Olympic Convoy desperately attempted to make up for lost time. However, after flooring the accelerator and taking the Olympic flame up to 90mph on a straight stretch of road they were further hampered by an over-laden tractor pulling out in front of them just before a series of bends outside Launceston.

After an hour behind the tractor the torch was finally given to the first torch-bearer, who made good progress before stopping to stop to David Cameron, who had popped down for his regular Cornish pasty.

The next few torch bearers managed to make up some lost time before the convoy hit the road again, only to be pulled over by the only remaining traffic patrol car in Devon for going 41 in a 40 zone. After half an hour being told how things were better in the old days before being given a ticket they finally got under way again, only to hit a traffic jam outside Exeter caused by an overturned caravan on the M5.

With the entire convoy now taking a leak up against a roadside hedge, the organising committee has made the decision to delay the Olympics until sometime in September to allow for further traffic problems.

Mandy Lifeboat

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Posted: May 18th, 2012 by

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