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Abramovich sacks Abramovich

Following Chelsea’s Champions’ League success, Roman Abramovich has fired himself.

‘It has become something of a tradition that someone gets sacked when our Champions’ League campaign comes to an end. However, due to the fact that we won the game and I had already fired the manager some months earlier, that option was not open to me. The only alternative was that the owner had to go.’

With a history of eight managers in nine years, Abramovich has shown that he is very hard to please, and he is hoping to bring on board a more easy-going version of himself.

‘Frankly, it’s something I should have done years ago. The owner was a nightmare,’ he admitted. ‘He tried to get some of the highest-profile men in the game to work for him, then let them go on a whim if they only beat Wigan 4-0. Besides, I’ve heard some very nasty rumours about what he’s been doing to my wife.’

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Posted: May 22nd, 2012 by seymour totti

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