It has just been announced that Egypt has entered the Eurovision Song Contest with a song chosen following a ‘fully transparent’ vote.
Jubilant Egyptian music supremo Ali Sharif explained; ‘In third place was the army’s choice, Hosni Mubarraca singing ‘Yassir, I can boogie,’ which polled 150% of the vote. Runner-up was the Arab League’s catchy ‘Don’t you want sharia’, but the runaway winner is The Muslim Brotherhood of Man’s Eurobeat foot-tapper ‘Meccarana’ , performed on stage with foxy Burka-swathed backing group ‘Eyes & Co’”.
Responding to criticism that Egypt had no reason to be in Eurovision, Sharif retorted, “Why not? Britain and France used to own the Suez canal – surely that makes us part of Europe? Besides, what about Israel and Azerbaijan? And since when was Belgium a real country anyway?”
Egyptian officials have vehemently denied reports that they are trying to influence other countries’ voting panels by telling them that should Egypt win and host the event in Cairo next year, they will allow Jedward to be stoned.