Paul McCartney booked to play The Apocalypse

Fans of music and doomsday prophecies were celebrating last night after God confirmed that he had booked the former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney to be the closing act at the end of mankind.

A spokesangel for the Lord said ‘we’ve had him pencilled in for a while but he’s so busy we thought we had better get a date in the diary.  The Supreme Being couldn’t think of anything more appropriate than some shop-worn platitudes and a selection of classic songs performed in a mediocre fashion to accompany the end of the world. Of course this will be played out amongst a backdrop of immense pain and suffering, so in that respect it won’t differ much from Mr McCartney’s more recent performances.’

Rumours have been circulating already that Sir Paul will be joined on stage by Pestilence, War and Famine to perform a medley of Beatles Hits but so far the only confirmed addition is a duet with Death of Live and Let Die which will close the show.

Though many remain unsure of the choice, Steven Wainwright, a retired clown is adamant that McCartney is the natural finale. ‘It gives me a warm feeling to know that even though I’ll be surrounded by rivers of blood and having the flesh pecked from my bones by the harbingers of doom I can still sing along with a few choruses of Hey Jude and shout some obscenities about the Frog Chorus’.

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Posted: Jun 7th, 2012 by

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