Ahead of Tuesday’s Euro 2012 clash between England and Ukraine, BBC Sport’s Jonathan Pearce has bowed to pressure from viewers and agreed to try out a new vocal tone for his commentary during the crucial final first round match in Donetsk.
Pearce agreed to introduce a second pitch to his speaking voice after England fans across the country threatened to ‘get down on their knees and pray like they’d never prayed before’ for England to lose just so they wouldn’t be forced to endure his monotonous whine any longer.
It is thought the new tone will replace the note slightly above D-minor which Pearce has used exclusively since learning to imitate the sound of a moped when he was seven years old. The new note, a potentially far more irritating G-flat, has left some viewers wondering if perhaps they should have remained silent on the issue.
‘It’s the only other sound I’m capable of making, unless I sneeze,’ said Pearce.
The head of the England Supporter’s Association was sadly unavailable for comment as he was undergoing surgery to remove a pair of knitting needles from his ears.