The Saudi Arabia women’s beach volleyball team has upset enthusiasts of the sport by defying the International Olympic Committee and refusing to wear the official uniform of 12-inch heels, crotchless micro-thongs and nipple-baring bikini tops at the Olympics this summer. Instead they’ll be covered head-to-toe in baggy black burqas which outrageously show off absolutely no flesh at all.
Women’s beach volleyball purists are outraged and want the Saudi girls thrown out – or at the very least publicly stripped so they can cop a gander at the sexy lingerie and stockings they strongly suspect the women are wearing underneath. ‘I paid a thousand quid for tickets to the beach volleyball so I can see moderately attractive 6 foot 2 women in revealing garb,’ said one pervert today. ‘I paid for totty – I expect to see totty. And while they can be very sexy and alluring, I don’t classify eyes as totty. If I can’t see proper Saudi talent I’ll be forced to go back to those dodgy burqa upskirt internet sites.’
An IOC spokesman said the beach volleyball uniform had been ‘specifically designed by a team of 65-year-old men to enable the athletes maximum flexibility and movement, with barely a thought to showing off their luscious, nubile, sexy, tanned, practically naked hot young bodies to all the middle-aged male spectators’. Fans say they cannot wait to set eyes on the girls in their kit – ‘Oh, and also to see whether the Canadian pair’s power spike game will carry them through to gold.’
Neutrals are hoping that the Saudi women’s team puts in a stronger performance than at the last games when their medal bid was undermined by several players having their hands chopped off for taking those little bottles of shampoo from the team hotel.