Fan’s profanity-strewn match critique single-handedly wins Group D for England

England manager Roy Hodgson has publically credited window cleaner Michael Roe with England’s initial success in Euro 2012, thanks to his ‘motivational’ critique of the games from a Midland Hotel bar in Ilkley.

Hodgson thanked Mr Roe for his vociferous real time critique. ‘I truly believe that Mr Roe shouting ‘Terry you’re a wanker’ at the 60” plasma screen was enough to push the Chelsea captain into a last gasp goal-line clearance.’ explained Hodgson at a press conference.  ‘And then ‘What the fuck are you doing Gerrard, you Scouse twat?’ confused the opposition sufficient for Rooney to score three seconds later.

Hodgson added that a grateful nation was looking to Mr Roe for the quarter finals. ‘He’s played a blinder, but he’ll need to up the ante now, with a few more explosive similes for the linesmen.’

Mr Roe was unavailable for comment, having retired to a snug at The Fleece and Firkin with Roget’s Thesaurus.


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Posted: Jun 21st, 2012 by

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