That prat who owns a canoe has been seen making final preparations to his vessel as large parts of Britain look set to be hit by further flood misery.
As residents of Hebden Bridge prepared to safeguard their properties and possessions from the rising water, they expressed their fears that 36-year-old Steve Roberts could once again add insult to injury by paddling his occasionally appropriate craft up the High Street like some kind of psychic Popeye.
‘At first it was quite amusing seeing him paddle down to the shops, waving cheerfully at news reporters while everyone else in town waded around up to their waists in sewage,’ said resident Jacquie Walters. ‘But after three floods this year already, quite frankly he can sod off.’
Meanwhile Mr Roberts has denied that he spends all his time winding up residents with his canoe. ‘Last winter when we had snow drifts, I went up and down the High Street on my skis instead,’ he said defiantly.