Olympic security guards fail ‘trainers are OK’ test

G4S group confirmed today it had taken on an extra 3,500 personnel to safeguard Olympic sites, but could not deploy them due to dress code interpretation difficulties.

‘It’s hard to get your head round these new rules allowing punters to wear trainers,’ said cadet Darren Bull, a freelance External Aperture Nocturnal Ingress Consultant. ‘In bouncer school we had a motto – ‘should the trainered foot pass you’ll have a pain in the arse’ – and it has proved right all these years. How do they expect me to unlearn all that, just to deal with some foreign bloke claiming he’s got to run around inside or something? He might be pulling a fast one.’

Around 10% of recruits have so far got over the issue of casual shoes, however GS4 have conceded that intensive training will be required to ensure that Oscar Pistorius, the blade runner, is permitted entry.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2012 by

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