Gunman charged over illegal use of Olympic race-starting noise

the 'ell of the Law

A crazed gunman who ran amok with a pistol in a busy shopping centre has been told he faces prosecution for copyright infringement, due to his unauthorised use of the Official Race-Starting Noise of the London 2012 Olympics.

A spokesman for Locog said that the incident was a clear breach of Olympic branding rules.  ‘As official London 2012 starting pistol suppliers, Guns R Us Plc have paid a great deal of sponsorship money for the right to be solely associated with the noise of a gunshot.  The Olympic guidelines clearly prohibit non-sponsors using or causing to be heard any combination of one or more of the following sounds: ‘Bang!’ ‘Crack!’ ‘Kerpow!’ ‘Ack ack ack!’

Defending Locog’s decision, Lord Coe insisted: ‘There are plenty of other ways for crazed madmen to embark on a killing spree without compromising the branding rights of our valued Games partners.  For instance, there is no restriction on using knives – unless the blade length exceeds 50cm, in which case they risk prosecution for infringing the Javelin’s rights as Official Sharp Pointy Thing of the Olympics.’

The controversy comes hot on the heels of a recent incident in which Olympic branding police arrested a group of children in a Swindon playground who were heard shouting ‘On your marks, get set, go!’ during dinner break.

Meanwhile, the gunman responsible for the shooting spree has been warned that he faces a minimum of five years in prison for unauthorised usage of an Olympic-related noise, plus  a further 30 days for the seven murders he committed during the incident.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2012 by

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