E.Coli, a leading bacterium in the food poisoning industry, has confirmed it is renaming all 400 trillion of itself as ‘Eco. Li’ with immediate effect in a bid to improve its image and promote its environmentally friendly corporate outlook.
‘Host organisms should recognise the positive impact we have on the environment as soon as they hear our name’ said a microbial spokesman. ‘Sure, we get accused of being amoral, focused entirely on increasing market share, and occasionally killing our customers, but we still want our planet to have a better future. Are we on Earth or Mars at the moment? Barry, can you check that?’
Rival gut flora Salmonella dismissed the rebrand as ‘mere greenwash’. ‘If you’re going to push Eco credentials you can’t just do what you’ve always done, but now call it green,’ said a spokesthing. ‘That’s why we’re not rolling out our Sal Monella concept until we’ve wiped mankind from the face of the earth with our next strain.’