The athletic events in the Olympics have been thrown into confusion by the announcement by the American team that they’ve patented ‘running quickly using the legs’.
An American team spokesman explained; ‘It was through our hard work that we discovered the best way to win races was to run quickly, so it’s unreasonable for our competitors to simply copy us – they should think of their own ways to win races.’
A representative for Team GB reacted in a resigned way; ‘We half expected this; that’s why we’re introducing a cannon into the sprint events – athletes are simply fired the length of the track; it’ll work brilliantly for the 100 metres, but we’re still working on the longer events, as getting round corners is proving a bit, er, tricky.’
