In a video released earlier this week, a spokesman for the UK-based Islamic Jihadi Brotherhood assured the British public that ‘the infidels will burn and the streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers, but for now we’re glued to our TVs watching Team GB’s medal success’.
‘We were thinking of planning some atrocities for the weekend, but first we need to concentrate on the final of the men’s 5000m where Mo Farah is in with a chance of another gold. Plus we still have a good chance of some golds in the boxing, and there’s Tom Daley in the diving. The last few weeks have made us very proud to be British – but of course not so proud that we won’t return to the indiscriminate killing of our fellow citizens just as soon as schedules allow.’
At this point in the video, the spokesman became somewhat distracted by something occurring off-screen, before pumping his fist in the air and shouting, ‘YES! Dressage gold! In your face Netherlands!’.