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Revealed: Mitt Romney’s secret past in gangsta rap group

sing it bro: 'whatever you got, it ain't y'all's...'Mitt Romney’s bid to become the next President of the United States was rocked today after the Republican candidate was exposed to have been a founding member of the gangsta rap group Wealthy With Attitude (‘WWA’) while a student at the Harvard Business School. Sources have revealed that Romney featured on their debut album ‘Straight Outta Hampton’ where he went under the assumed moniker ‘Filthy Rich Mutherfucka’.

‘Romney has always struggled to connect with the poor and lower middle class,’ said NBC political commentator, Chuck Todd. ‘So discovering that he wrote and performed a song entitled ‘If You Ain’t Rich, You A Bitch’ is unlikely to make his task any easier. That said, gangsta rap gives him something in common with some hard-to-reach sections of the electorate, though most of them won’t have seen it performed before by well-dressed white boys whose only bling is their cuff links.’

Romney is reported to have contributed lyrics to most of the album and was lead performer on at least three of the group’s more well known songs, including ‘Don’t Fight The Power’, ‘Racing My Motherfuckin’ Yacht!’ and ‘Banker’s Delight’. The two other founding members of WWA, ‘The Notorious R.I.C.H.’ and ‘Nathaniel Aldridge Bancroft, III’, have both declined to comment.

But it is Romney’s past involvement in some of the less palatable aspects of the gangsta rap lifestyle that has most alarmed critics. ‘The whole Hampton scene back then was blighted by this brutal East versus West county rivalry,’ continued Todd. ‘There were some neighbourhoods where you just couldn’t go unless your father was president of the Country Club. The turf war got so bad that for a while real estate agents were reporting gangs of youths making several drive-by mansion purchases a night.’

Romney’s campaign team has hit back at the allegations, though. ‘While some of the songs have garnered controversy, some merely show Mitt’s future politics,’ said spokesman Ryan Roswell. ‘For instance, in the song ‘F.D.I.C. Killa’, he signals his future run to the White House with the line ‘Washington, D.C. ain’t never seen a deregulator like this baller before’. Even back then, Romney knew that a smaller government would mean lower taxes which means more money to spend on his ho.’

pdheller

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2012 by Guest

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