The pathologist who wrongly diagnosed the cause of death of G20 protestor Ian Tomlinson as ‘dodgy ticker’ was an apprentice bricklayer who had forged his degree certificates, according to a disciplinary panel.
‘Suspicions were raised as to Patel’s true profession when we noticed that, rather than driving a Lexus, Patel would often turn up for work in a rusty white van containing a cement mixer, sandwiches and a spirit level,’ said his colleague, Martin Williams ME. ‘He was also extremely squeamish around bodies and would come into the morgue with a peg on his nose, demanding that we should ‘open all the windows’.’
Dr Reginald Smithies of the General Medical Council blamed insufficient background checks for the promotion of an individual whose knowledge of anatomy was limited to the dissection of a rat during a fifth year biology class. ‘Fair’s fair though – he did do a pretty mean job on my patio.’