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Government urges Camelot to produce thinner lottery winners

Statistics produced by Camelot show that fat couples in council houses are more likely to win the lottery, leading to speculation that the National Lottery is weighted towards the overweight.

‘It’s often quite difficult to get the publicity pictures,’ admitted Camelot head of PR Mike Newby. ‘Tiny houses, enormous cheques, fat, dazed looking couples and jereboams of champagne – talk about a ‘rollover’. All too often we have to make do with photographing them in their garden, or in some cases the local park.’

But one senior treasury minister expressed concern about the body image of lottery winners. ‘If the only people winning the lottery appear to be overweight and under-educated, then people might somehow get the impression that the lottery is simply a tax on the poor and stupid. Which is why we’re urging Camelot to come up with some thin posh looking winners. Or we will just parade the wife of some banker who just got a massive bonus, and be a bit vague about where her millions just came from.’

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Posted: Aug 21st, 2012 by nickb

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