‘They’re all the bloody same,’ said one voter, ‘nobody knows what Evil stands for any more.’ ‘I used to vote Good, but they’ve lost their way,’ said another, who refused to give his name for fear of recriminations.
The shift to the centre ground by both parties has been taking place for some time. After Evil’s catastrophic performance at the polls, in the post apocalypse years, it entered a period of introspection. Its fortunes were only turned around when a branding consultant was appointed.
In the meantime, the lack of opposition for the Good party took its toll, as complacency set in. Good’s leaders were accused of taking their eye off the ball and losing touch with supporters. The corrupting effect of ten years of absolute power finally began to become nakedly obvious, when a series of scandals rocked the Good administration. As Evil regrouped, many disillusioned Good voters defected to the opposition, now led by the charismatic Beelzebub.
After a disastrous election, in which Evil won a landslide victory, it was the Good party’s turn to lick its wounds and regroup. Its rebranding exercise was to prove unpopular with many traditional Good voters, who liked being nice to people and didn’t like naked aggression. But the appointment of Alistair Campbell as the Good Party’s communications director changed all that, and when Good got back into power, it promptly declared war on innocence.
Some voters are now questioning whether the Good Party is good at all. Meanwhile the Evil party has shifted ground, but it is finding it hard to shake off its horrible legacy. ‘It’s no wonder the voters are confused’ said the BBC’s Nick Robinson.
‘At least you know where you are with Evil though’ he concluded. ‘And they make the trains run on time.’