A man from Oxford has made a discovery that has been described as having ‘significant importance’. After defrosting his freezer he has dug up a small packet of peas out of the ice that it’s thought dates back further than the mid 1990s.
Scientists have dated the peas all the way back to 1992, following extensive carbon dating and looking at the ’best before’ date. ‘This would make them pre-history channel, pre-Playstation, and pre-Viagra,’ a leading frozen food specialist told us. ‘As unbelievable as it sounds, it would have been impossible to have ordered them online, as not even the internet was available then. It’s just mind-blowing, omg lol!’
The peas will be preserved and displayed next to dinosaur bones in the Natural History museum, something that has made Michael Hardy, the domestic appliance archaeologist who made the discovery, very happy. But as he explains, it was pure luck that he made the find. ‘I was trying to get a pizza out of the freezer but it was blocked in by ice. I was going to try and eat it out but a quick check on Google suggested defrosting it. If I had just gone for the Pot Noodle in my cupboard I would never have found the peas.’
This is the most important domestic find since Mr and Mrs Smythe from Coventry made a discovery in their bedroom in 2011. Their discovery of ‘printed porn’ came after Mrs Smythe decided it was time to turn the mattress. She was said to be ‘suspicious’ of its origin, although Mr Smythe has stuck with his theory that they were hidden there by cavemen. ‘It’s the only explanation,’ he told reporters at the time. ‘Clothes weren’t invented in them days, something every single one of those cave women was clearly lacking.’
Michael Hardy has committed to continuing his excavation of freezers, drawers and even down the back of the sofa in his bid to find more historically important, often legendary artefacts. So far he has uncovered a Marathon bar, a half penny coin, and a carrier bag with the cryptic message ‘Woolworths’ printed on the front. ‘I have found a lot but not everything’s as old and decayed as it seems,’ he explained. ‘Apparently Marmite is supposed to taste like that.’