David Cameron has announced there is to be three days of mourning, a public holiday and a state funeral in memory of Monty Windsor, the Royal corgi who sadly passed away over the weekend.
The 13-year-old Monty, who was previously owned by the Queen Mother and despite years of therapy and spells at The Priory had never been able to kick his life-long addiction to juniper berries, was recently seen out-acting Daniel Craig during a James Bond sketch featured in the Olympics opening ceremony.
‘Monty was brilliant in the sketch,’ said a Palace spokesman. ‘He greeted the secret agent, ran down a flight of stairs, performed a series of tummy-rolls and then, as the Queen boarded a waiting helicopter, wore a quizzical expression which said ‘what the fuck’s going on?’ He was a natural.’
It is not all bad news for members of the Royal household, however. Following the death of the dog Prince Edward now moves one place higher in importance in the Royal rankings behind Mr.Tiggiwink, a red-tailed falcon used by the Queen to keep pigeons off the lawn at Balmoral.