‘Let me commit career suicide with dignity,’ pleads Frankie Boyle

His audiences have suffered terribly for years

Infamous taboo-busting comedian Frankie Boyle issued a distraught plea to the media yesterday asking to be allowed to finally kill off his TV career. Boyle has requested that the law be changed to allow him to commit professional suicide assisted by a live late night panel show or other similar bad-taste comedy vehicle.

For the last three years the Glaswegian born stand-up says he has been locked into a body of not-particularly-amusing comedic material. The plea comes after Channel 4 refused to air a pilot show ‘Frankie Chuffin’ Boyle Rips the Piss out of the Paralympics’ for being ‘totally chuffin’ lame – ironically’ according to C4 bosses.

‘I want to be able to die with a complete lack of dignity on an edgy Friday night panel show,’ begged a clearly agitated Boyle to reporters ‘I long for the warm embrace of medium-sized provincial arts centres. All I want is to be able to put ‘As no longer seen on TV’ on the posters – is that really too much to ask?’

Boyle has already made several attempts on his own TV career: last year he injected his comedy show Tramadol Nights with lethal levels of paedophilia gags. ‘Thankfully we were able to intervene,’ explained C4’s head of comedy Shane Allen. ‘We cut in a series of deeply unfunny filler sketches before the shows went to air. Thankfully this turned the cocktail from ‘lethal’ to ‘tiresome’. Provided Mr Boyle doesn’t operate any heavy machinery after the shows, he should be perfectly safe.’

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2012 by

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