After years of rumour and intrigue culminating in recent press publicity, the Royal Family has decided to make a clean breast of it and admit that they have been practising naturists for decades.
‘We observers have long suspected that the Royals like nothing better than to get their kit off behind closed doors,’ said the BBC’s Royal Correspondent, Nicholas Witchell. ‘Why else would they always demand such privacy? But so far they’ve been able to keep things covered up.’
It is known that Princess Diana was aghast at the nude antics of her husband’s family. Only a few weeks after marrying Prince Charles, she attended Prince Philip’s annual Balmoral Barbeque without a word of warning from her new husband, and the shock of seeing the Duke of Edinburgh in the buff cheerily offering to fill her bap turned her off pork sausages for the remainder of her life.
Even the Queen is a devout naturist and often parades up and down the corridors of Windsor wearing nothing but a ceremonial bearskin, but she always buttons up for her weekly audience with the Prime Minister. In private she is known to joke to the Duke of Edinburgh that while David Cameron says, ‘Were all in it together’, the Royal Family are ‘All in the altogether’.