West Ham supporters to spice up Muslim rioters’ chants

Fresh controversy has erupted in the Middle East with news that English football supporters have been brought in as consultants to help Muslim rioters develop better chants to use while protesting outside embassies.

‘‘Death to America’ is snappy and to the point, but you get more bang for your bucks with knob jokes,’ said West Ham supporters club official Dan Richards. ‘Even Millwall supporters have moved on from the ‘die, die, die’ chant.’

Veteran rioter Abdul Ahmed was very happy with the collaboration with like-minded fanatics: ‘The new material cracks me up – I don’t know why we hadn’t thought of using the combination of comedy and sexual suggestiveness before. ‘O-ba-ma is a wanker’ and ‘I’m forever blowing up infidels’ are my favourites, but I also like ‘When the Mullahs come marching in’ and ‘He’s big, he’s dead, he’s on the sea bed, Bin Laden!’ and the catchy ‘Knees up Mullah Brown’.’

Ahmed admits there were some teething problems in getting used to the new chants. ‘Unfortunately, when one of our West Ham brothers chanted ‘Does your boyfriend know you’re here?’, I instinctively cut his head off. But there were no hard feelings – apparently he had been secretly supporting Man City.’

Yikes (hat-tips to Ironduke and ronseal)

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Posted: Sep 17th, 2012 by

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