A Swindon man, Mr Barry Kent, appeared in court today charged with harassing West Country funny man Justin Lee Collins by keeping a detailed dossier of the comedian’s professional history and using it ‘as a stick to beat him with’.
‘It is clear that this man ran a concerted campaign of emotional, verbal and even physical abuse against Mr Collins,’ said the prosecutor. ‘Mr Kent sought to humiliate his victim by constantly reminding him of the low quality of his televisual output, and on one occasion even tied Mr Collins to a chair and made him sit through an entire series of The Friday Night Project.’
It is alleged that 43-year-old Mr Kent assumed a position of power over Justin Lee Collins after becoming the only person in the country to sit through his inexplicable outings on a wide range of Freeview channels.
‘This man is controlling,’ said the prosecution of Mr Kent. ‘He even kept a notebook in which he wrote down every joke Justin Lee Collins told, and then, after checking whether other performers had ever used them, wrote ‘done’ beside each one. He also rated each joke by a complex scoring system ranging from ‘tired’ to ‘almost smiled’ to ‘thank God my licence fee isn’t wasted on this’.
The trial continues, though viewing figures are low and a second series is not likely to be commissioned.