Impressionable middle-managers were cock-a- hoop last night as it emerged that football has finally gone ‘off trend’.
A report by the much respected Association of Corporate Yes Men claims football has been down-listed, so supporting a City or a United is no longer obligatory. The news means millions of executives, business leaders and even minor celebrities can stop pretending to be fans of ‘the people’s game’.
‘I feel a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, the pressure to retain information about football was getting me down’, said Timothy Hammersley, a TV executive from North London. ‘I had to remember who pretended to support what, and whether that made us rivals. It’s a massive relief to finally have permission to talk to my underlings without expressing an opinion about Arsene Wenger.’
Trend-setters are yet to reveal what The Next Big Thing will be, but it is hoped that whatever it is, it won’t require Alan Hansen to talk about it.