Star of ‘Grand Designs’ Kevin McCloud has released details of his latest venture – a ‘green’ dwelling made from unwanted old celebrities. With so many ex-stars cluttering up press launches or the openings of new supermarkets, McCloud aims to use them as building materials, so they can once again be ‘household names’.
‘Choosing the right ‘tool’ for the job is important’, said McCloud. ‘For instance, I’ve repurposed Jedward as two supporting thick, short planks.’ When it came to selecting someone that would make a good window, McCloud knew it had to be Ben Elton. ‘He’s a complete ‘pane’, and everyone can see right through him.’
Building the home hasn’t been entirely straight-forward, and McCloud is facing a battle with planning authorities. ‘I chose Paris Hilton and Coleen Rooney to use as my foundations’, confessed Kevin. ‘Unfortunately, the building inspector reckons they’re far too shallow.’