Britain’s supermarkets, recognising that referring to ‘Buy One Get One Free’ as ‘BOGOF’ has seen the term enter into everyday parlance, are reportedly ‘going on the offensive’ to find new, catchy ways of insulting their customers.
One of the first to ruffle feathers was Morrisons, who rewrote the phrase ‘Two for the Price of One’ as ‘Price Of One For A Couple Everyday’ so that they could shout POOFACE at startled shoppers. Tesco loudly announced their TOSSA (Tesco Offers Super Savings Always) campaign, while Sainsbury’s has recently reduced the price of everything in their stores by tuppence and are telling all their customers ‘to pee off’.
Not all customers are impressed. Mr Mulligan of Roehampton would prefer a return to the days when storekeepers were polite to their customers, having recently been arrested for assault in his local store. ‘I only wanted to spend my wife’s loyalty points’, he complained. ‘Who wouldn’t expect a punch in the face, after yelling their slogan for ‘Clubcard Use Not Transferable?’