Mr Blobby, popular with children and adults alike in the 1990s and who rose to a position of great influence within the BBC is accused of regularly exposing himself in front of children at notorious ‘House Parties’ hosted by ‘Deal or no Deal?’ star Noel Edmonds, who apparently hired a camera crew to ‘film absolutely everything’.
‘He was so famous and influential that I don’t think anyone dared take him on,’ wept a BBC colleague from the time who didn’t wish to be named as Valerie Singleton, ‘He obviously enjoyed not wearing any clothes, and we knew it, but we all turned a blind eye for fear that he’d come after us, that he’d trip over something, crush whatever it was that we’d been carefully preparing and roll on top of us shouting ‘Blobby, Blobby, Blobby’. We should have spoken up and gone to the police, but when faced with confronting him, well, if there’s anyone in light entertainment you didn’t mess with, it was Mr Blobby.
‘When looking at such serious issues you obviously have to put the interests of BBC prime time viewing figures first,’ said DCI Vic Hanley who is investigating the case, but admitted that sifting through hours of videotaped evidence of Blobby’s gross indecency and lewd behaviour at Noel’s House Parties had left him feeling numb and bereft and that several of his female officers had needed trauma counselling.
During a brief hearing at Bow Street Magistrates court to answer the charges against him, Blobby – a tall, orotund, eccentric figure, pink skin covered in yellow polka-dots, with bulging eyes jiggling as he moved and a permanent rictus grin – seemed to show no remorse.
Counsel for the defence argued that what happened in Crinkley Bottom should stay in Crinkley Bottom and that ‘there had been no cover up’ at the BBC, a point noted as ‘obvious’ by the Judge who ordered Mr Blobby to wrap a blanket around himself or face a further charge of contempt of court.
But onlookers are hopeful that as the case develops it will expose much more about the culture of the BBC in the past few decades, and are eagerly awaiting the moment when the court finally realises the pink polka dot outfit is merely a disguise and asks for it to be removed. ‘It’s big costume and who knows who’s in there, there could be hundreds of them,’ said one concerned viewer. ‘The world needs to know who Mr Blobby really is and soon, before he’s allowed to make a comeback.’
Story and Pics by Pinxit