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Non-league football club announces sponsorship deal with local loan-shark ‘Big Dave’

Northern League Division 2 club Tow Law Town became the latest north-eastern football club to exploit the booming poverty and misery industry as it announced a sponsorship deal with Big Dave, a usurer who has provided the Felling, Pelaw and Carr Hill areas with a ready supply of doorstep credit since 1976.

‘This is a great deal which will provide much-needed funds to the club,’ read a statement. ‘Big Dave has assured us that the money he’s putting in is not a loan but very definitely a shirt sponsorship deal.’

Big Dave has been looking to expand his operating base for some time, but concerns have been raised about his business practices with widespread reports of arbitrarily high interest rates and physical violence enacted on those struggling to keep up with repayments.

‘Many people are suffering economically in the north-east at the moment and my operation is in a position to help,’ said Big Dave. ‘It’s just unfortunate that so many of them seem to fall down the stairs or develop irreparable knee conditions shortly after missing a repayment. Mind you, there’d still be good enough to get in the Tow Law first team.’

johnnydobbo

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Posted: Oct 11th, 2012 by Guest

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