The BBC has launched a full internal psychic investigation after employees at Broadcasting House have reported phenomena such as rattling jewellery, eerie yodelling noises and an invisible hand touching them in ‘inappropriate places’, generally a dressing room.
Director General George Entwhistle has reluctantly agreed for a full psychic purge of the premises. ‘Members of staff claim they’ve been felt up by a pair of unseen hands whilst reading the shipping forecast. Either Dave Lee Travis has developed psi abilities or it’s time to send in Jenni Murray to sort this out for good.’
A Newsnight team had reportedly looked into the phenomena as long as three weeks ago. However, they concluded that filmed footage of Broadcasting House levitating 30 feet into the air while a disembodied voice declared ‘Owz about that then?’ was ‘not sufficiently newsworthy.’