Ironic Maiden, the UK’s premier sarcastic metal tribute band, have reassured their ‘fragrant’ fans that the ‘Ironics’ have no plans to split.
The rumour is believed to have started when lead singer Brusque Dickinson told a crowd ‘We’ll see you next year, Daventry!’ in a more sardonic than usual tone. Internet chatrooms were ablaze with speculation that the band were fed up with the lack of mainstream success in such an otherwise rather over-literal musical sub-genre.
‘Why would we want to split up?’ hissed Dickinson rhetorically addressing the tiny press conference ‘The Frog and Drainpipe in Daventry is exactly the sort of venue love to play.’
‘Ironic Maiden is not about the millionaire lifestyle, the groupies or the stadium gigs: we just want to bring our music to very small audiences of balding distribution managers. Now excuse me, I need to put on some quizzical eyebrow makeup.’