Dame Janet Smith, a former appeal court judge, heading the investigation into culture and practice at the BBC in the aftermath of the Jimmy Savile scandal, has confirmed that all new suspects will be unveiled using Scooby-Doo tactics centred-on the public unmasking of celebrities.
Dame Smith revealed that cartoon-style justice was appropriate given the need to engage with today’s youngsters so they better understand what is happening at the BBC, and to ensure that 50-somethings from the Savile era awake sweating as their abuse is relived in horrendous nightmares.
Cartoon-style justice is on the ascendancy in the UK following the decision by parliament to punish expenses cheat ‘Denis the menace’ MacShane with a 48-hour wait in A&E with a saucepan stuck on his head rather than suffer the indignity of a prison sentence and financial ruin.
Unmasked celebrities will also be forced to declare ‘And I would have gotten away with meddling with those kids, if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids!’
antharrison, with assistance from Boutros