Obama squanders CIA briefing finding out what really happened to JFK
With the Bush administration keen to provide a smooth transition for the incoming president, Barack Obama has been given unprecedented early access to a whole range of classified government files. However, it has emerged that Mr Obama spent most of the afternoon ignoring larger issues of the day such as Russian interventions in the Caucasus and Iranian Nuclear expansion in favour of finding out what actually, really happened to President John F Kennedy.
Veteran presidential aide Lucas Whiteman said; ‘All the new presidents do it. You try to let them know all about what’s going on in the world but they always go straight for the ‘Dallas ’63′ file to find out for themselves what really went on. Carter was the worst, he couldn’t speak for days after he’d seen it but everyone put it down to him having eaten too many peanuts, so he kinda got away with it, but all of them came out with this smug grin on their face like they finally knew something you didn’t and they sure as hell ‘weren’t gonna tell ya!”
With every new president for the last three decades asking the same things Mr Whiteman admitted it had become almost a tradition now to usher the President Elect into the Oval Office and seal the doors for a couple of hours while they sift through the files that senior aides have left on the desk. ‘There’s JFK of course, then Marilyn, Roswell, Bay of Pigs, Chappaquiddick, Watergate, Barney Rubble’s middle name, it’s all there,’ said Mr Whiteman, ‘and Obama was one of the most vocal about it. All afternoon all we could hear through the door were things like ‘Well I’ll be darned…’, and ‘Oh God, that’s good…’ and ‘Well I’ll be a son of a ….’. Ya know, stuff like that. The only one he didn’t read was the one marked ‘Weapons of Mass Destruction’ as he said he ‘pretty much knew all about that one already’.’
‘Mr Obama has now become one of the very few people to know the truth behind America’s most notorious and talked-about recent history and has been briefed on how to answer and deflect questions about the events,’ said Mr Whiteman, ‘although we didn’t give him the file marked ‘Obama, Houston, 2010′. I don’t know why, but President Bush didn’t want him to see that one just yet.’
8th November 2008Click to send this story to a friend
Posted: Nov 9th, 2012 by Team Biscuit
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