A coalition of charity events has been formed to meet public complaints of charity overload every autumn.
‘The public is finding it increasingly difficulty to simultaneously deal with Poppy Day, Children in Need, Movember and Halloween,’ said a coalition spokesman.
‘They come along like buses. We don’t see why we should move our events, but we can get a bit more organized,’ he added.
‘We only just get over being harassed by apprentice muggers dressed as the junior undead yelling ‘trick or treat’, said one compassion-fatigued donator to charities, ‘when we have to wear poppies, daub embarrassing smudges on our upper lips, and wear random fancy dress for Pudsey.’
Instead, under coalition proposals, for a one-off donation of £50, people will get a compromise fancy dress: ‘Pirates of the Bloody Caribbean’ – i.e. undead, patch over one eye, untidy facial hair …but with a poppy.
‘People can still look silly without having to continually come up with new outfits,’ the coalition spokesman said.