Canine geneticists have engineered a breed of genetically modified pit bulls that do not ‘do a poo’ or even have to ‘go to the bathroom’. According to Dr Marcus Hunter of Oxford University, this could revolutionize the sometimes fraught relationship between dog owners and the rest of society.
Non-pooing dogs internally re-cycle their waste and so do not need much food. Dog owners welcomed the new breed, although some said they would miss the daily walks and the excitement of letting the dog cock its leg on the Audi of that flash git who appears to be shagging that rather fetching divorcee down the road.
Lamp posts, however, are believed to be relieved at the news. Crufts said they would be creating a new prize category for next year’s show. A ‘Golden Turd’ prize category is now under consideration.