After the vote to allow women bishops was narrowly defeated, the Church of England has agreed a compromise deal which will see the introduction of women Father Christmasses instead.
A majority of church members support the measure, arguing that women have more experience than men of dressing up in outlandish costumes.
But traditionalists say they have doubts over whether women Father Christmases will pass the Ho!Ho!Ho! test.
‘While children have traditionally accepted a bearded fat old man in a red and white costume,’ said one conservative churchgoer, ‘the addition of Christmassy tits may be a step too far.’