Government to air-drop Thirst Pocket kitchen rolls into flood zones

The government has today responded to the ongoing flood crisis by announcing an air-drop of Thirst Pocket kitchen rolls into the most seriously affected areas.

It’s believed that the government secured a 2-for-1 offer from Morrisons and will start the drop just as soon as Nick Clegg gets back with them.

‘We chose the Thirst Pocket option as they ‘have the power of an elephant in just one sheet’ and, with 250 sheets per roll, we should have all this wiped up and in a big pedal bin in no time.’ explained Environment Secretary, Owen Paterson.

‘In contrast,’ he continued, ‘one sheet from their nearest competitor, Plenty, seem to merely have the power of a solitary mincing Spanish wanker, so there really was no contest.’

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Posted: Nov 27th, 2012 by

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