A supposedly revamped complains procedure for Ryanair has been revealed to involve nothing more than disappointed customers simply being put through to a homeless Irishman.
‘Tell Mick about it’ is the budget carrier’s new message for anybody unhappy with the service they receive while a captive on one of their flights and includes a mobile phone number to call. But, rather than being a direct line to the company’s chief executive, Michael O’Leary, as many believed, the number merely connects customers to an alcoholic Dublin man of no fixed address.
‘We believed that Ryanair were turning a corner when they told us about their new, dedicated complaints line that would be available twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.’ said Melanie Dawes of consumer group Which?.
‘However, when we tested the number, our call was answered with a string of swear words shouted at us in a strong Irish accent. At first we thought that the man on the other end of the phone was Michael O’Leary and we’d just woke him up, but further investigation revealed that it was actually a tramp in the Temple Bar area of Dublin, called Mick.’
The investigation carried out by Which? discovered that, in an effort to cut costs, Ryanair had made their entire customer service department redundant and then given an old Nokia mobile and twelve litres of vodka to a vagrant. The number to that phone was then published on their website and Mick was left to deal with complaints in his own unique, sweary way.
Ryanair, however, are defiant and claim the new service provides the personal touch that their customers have been looking for.
‘Mick is very committed to his job since we super glued the phone to his hand, and will answer it any time, day or night, with a traditional Irish greeting.’ said Michael O’Leary, ‘People simply need to understand that ‘miserable shower of fucks’ is actually a term of great endearment. Either way, he’s still considerably more helpful than most of our other staff, and has actually just won employee of the month.’