King Herod of Judea has claimed that he should be exonerated after so-called eye witness reports that he ordered the Massacre of the Holy Innocents have been shown to be false.
‘It is true that I had a meeting to discuss the Baby Jesus issue,’ he said, ‘and I admit that I gave permission for first-born sons from the Bethlehem area with parents called Joseph and Mary to be eliminated on suspicion, but I swear I didn’t use the ‘M’ word.’
Herod cited new evidence that has come to light which casts doubt on whether Matthew’s account of the story is the Gospel truth. Herod’s former associates also point to the fact that Mark, Luke and John did not report the story at all, while denying leaning on them to suspend their investigations. They say that although Herod was a murderous tyrant he is innocent of using the toxic word ‘massacre’ and should be given his job back.