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Police slammed for not taking marmalade theft seriously

Manchester police have been heavily criticised after refusing to act on a tip-off about a marmalade theft. Instead, the Peelers dismissed the warning as a hoax, which ultimately led to a disappointing breakfast.

‘We apologise to the victims of this crime and promise to send a jam sandwich in future,’ said PC Golding. ‘If  not, someone will be toast. Starting the day with an adequate police response shouldn’t be the preserve of the rich.’

Detectives are currently investigating a hoard of stolen breakfast ingredients at a Little Chef in Cheadle. When officers arrived, staff said ‘they could definitely smell bacon’.

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Posted: Dec 29th, 2012 by waylandsmithy

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