In presiding over the divorce proceedings of Wayne and Traycee Metcalf, a judge has ruled that the couple must return to their wedding guests the hours they lost witnessing the doomed nuptials.
‘It is profoundly unjust that this couple are regaining the freedoms they enjoyed when they were single, while for their wedding guests the Saturday afternoon they spent at the ceremony and reception is lost forever,’ said Mr Justice Benson.
In order to make amends, the judge decreed that each wedding guest must specify a small provincial town where Wayne or Traycee must spend a Saturday afternoon and evening before staying overnight in a Travelodge. The town must be an inconvenient distance away and must not be somewhere worth visiting in its own right, and the day must be spent watching other people have their photographs taken, conversing with drunken bores and sitting at a dinner table listening to someone else’s elderly relatives ramble on.
In final clarification Mr Justice Benson stated that under no circumstances should mother-in-laws have any say in the arrangements.