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Speculation mounting that the ‘manner’ of Lance Armstrong’s confession was the medium of dance

Armstrong hoping to win this year's Tour des StudiosFollowing Oprah Winfrey’s admission that Lance Armstrong’s confession was ‘not in the manner she expected’, speculation is growing as to the way the disgraced cyclist admitted his cheating. Bookies odds show the price for a straight verbal confession are sliding along with a written statement. However the look on Oprah’s face as she left the hotel where the interview took place means that the favourites are now a piece of musical theatre or a confession in the medium of dance.

Although far from being candid about the contents of the interview, which will be aired in the US on Thursday evening, Ms Winfrey did give out some teasing clues. ‘Lets just say, although he has a lifetime cycling ban, there was nothing to stop him him continuing to wear Lycra’ she told reporters as she left the hotel. ‘It’s not just his seven Tour de France titles that have been stripped, and it’s fair to say I saw more lunchbox than in a school dinner hall’.

A stunned and red-faced Ms Winfrey was then ushered into a car and driven away. She was followed out by a dance troupe, an inflatable horse and Louis Spence, fueling speculation it was not a straight forward interview. Mr Armstrong’s lawyer then gave a statement to the assembled media.

‘Although some may find it hard to believe, Mr Armstrong felt the need to inject a little extra into proceedings. Tiger Woods’ apology was very bland so Lance decided to give his a little shot in the arm. I’m sure everyone will agree when they see it, the little added extra he gave this interview greatly improved his performance, although that is something he vehemently denies.’

WADA, the World Anti-Doping Agency have said that they will not accept any admission of guilt from Mr Armstrong from an interview that is clearly stage managed by the pedaller. ‘This is obviously some kind of publicity stunt that is designed to benefit Mr Armstrong’s reputation and bank balance, and we don’t feel that’s right’ a WADA spokesman told us. ‘We will only accept an admission that is made on oath, or if we get a cut, if he sells the multi-million dollar rights to a film of his misdemeanor that states ‘this movie is based on a true story’.

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2013 by Perks

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