Tesco’s bullshit apology contained ‘traces of horseshit’
A bullshit apology by Tesco for muddling up animals may have contained traces of horseshit, say regulators.
Inspectors recently discovered that Tesco had as little idea what was inside the products it passed off as ‘food’ as its most trusting of customers. Uncowed, the supermarket took immediate action, and ponied up for a lot more advertising.
‘If we want to continue taking money off the awful people that shop here, we have to nurture the impression we give a toss about them’, explained PR Manager Charles Valerie. ‘But it’s a thin line between ‘caring’ and ‘taking responsibility’, which is why we’ve promised to delegate the blame to suppliers. Time is of the essence if we’re to regain the public’s trust. The advertising deadline for tomorrow’s newspapers is 2.30pm.’
Valerie has vowed to avoid taking the blame for similar incidents in the future, and has put together a team of photogenic QA managers to show journalists they take quality seriously. ‘They’re working hard on designing a safety sticker for the big mincing machines, it shows a horse with a red cross through it’ he enthused.
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Posted: Jan 18th, 2013 by waylandsmithy
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