Scottish prospector discovers giant nugget of lard

A prospector from Montrose who found a 25lb nugget of lard washed up on the beach at St.Cyrus says he has sold the delicacy to a local chip restaurant.

Culinary experts say the lard, believed to have come from the wreck of a WWII battle ship, should last the restaurant from anything between 2-3 days if used carefully.

The lard is estimated to be worth around £4.75….a record for any Scottish culinary foodstuff and is said to be rich in vitamin D and fatty tissue.

The prospector who had originally been combing the beach for gold said he couldn’t believe his luck when he stumbled across the 25lb block of rendered pig-stomach. ‘I saw the seagulls throwing up in the distance and wondered what the hell it could have been. Imagine my delight when I discovered it was lard’.

Local fisherman Angus McAngus said lard finds as big as this were a rarity nowadays and he was not at all surprised the restaurant had paid a record fee to secure the porcine wad.

But staff at the nature reserve say they are furious with the prospector after being fobbed off with the contents of a 9th century Viking treasure chest the man had discovered just moments before coming across the lard. ‘A Viking helmet made out of solid gold. What the fuck are we supposed to do with that?’ fumed warden Alistair McAlistair. ‘You cannae even eat chips out of it’.

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2013 by

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