Routine testing of Britain’s vegetarians has revealed levels of smugness of up to 98% it has been revealed. Traces of self-satisfaction and moral superiority were also detected. ‘I’m routinely pleased with myself, said one veggie, ‘But now I’m absolutely delighted.’
Health campaigners are concerned that the current crisis could prove very dangerous for the most outspoken of vegetarians. ‘If this continues,’ said one health official, ‘it is quite possible they will get a smack in the mouth.’
However smugness levels are set to decline rapidly down following rumours that traces of tofu had been found in tahini.