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Lib Dems announce amnesia ‘no longer a membership requirement’

everyone agrees with NickFollowing several embarrassing incidents of forgetfulness, the Liberal Democrats have agreed to stop making amnesia a requirement of party membership. The problem has been evident for a long time, with party members continuing to attend the annual party conference after forgetting they’d promised never to put themselves through that torture again.

More recently Chris Huhne has forgotten he gave his wife his speeding points, Nick Clegg forgot he may have known about sexual assault allegations against a party peer and all Lib Dem MPs seem to have forgotten the pledge card they all signed before the last election.

‘Remembering things is something we have actively discouraged in the party, especially when we had no power so couldn’t be held to account,’ a spokesman for the party said. ‘Having a policy of only taking on new members with ‘memory issues’ seemed to be a good way of keeping our supporters fighting for the cause. Whatever that may be. Um, nope, it’s gone’

Speaking during his apology for not being able to recall if he knew anything about something he may or may not have known something about, Nick Clegg promised to work hard on turning his party around. ‘We really need to start being able to recall important pieces of information,’ he told the media. ‘Whether it’s perverting the course of justice, or just perverting, we need to improve, that’s why I am introducing this little card with all our promises on so we can’t forget them.’

The process of party rehabilitation has started but speaking to the grass roots members shows they have a long way to go. One activist said; ‘I’m trying hard, I really am, but I can’t for the life of me remember why we voted for Nick Clegg as leader.’

‘I’m so, so sorry.’

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2013 by Perks

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