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Coldplay announce new album of Death Metal Classics

In an unexpected move, rock band Coldplay have announced that their next album, due for release in the spring, will consist entirely of death metal covers.

‘It’s true,’ confirmed Chris Martin in a radio interview yesterday. ‘There’s nothing I like more after a long day of mawkish balladry and pontificating on world hunger than winding down to a bit of hard core thrash. Once the kids are in bed, the wife and I like to curl up on the sofa, crack open a bag of macrobiotic cress and have a couple of games of Boggle while Carcass’s ‘Crepitating Bowel Erosion’ plays in the background.’

However, while many have praised the band’s bold new direction, some critics remain sceptical, suggesting that it’s no more than a cynical attempt to capitalise on actor John Barrowman’s surprise Christmas 2012 smash ‘Twenty Golden Norwegian Black Metal Hits.’

TheNewsWalrus

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2013 by Guest

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