The Vatican has announced that a huge latex prayer dome is to be erected in St Peter’s Square in honour of Pope Benedict XVI. It is expected to be the first of many throughout the world, and will offer millions of ordinary Catholics unmatched protection from the elements.
Vatican spokesman, Cardinal Vitelli, said the massive latex prayer dome would be the perfect tribute to Benedict’s papacy as it was aimed at improving the lives of ordinary Catholics. “Currently any believer that goes to St Peter’s Square could, despite the best of intentions, get wet. In the past we have suggested that people could simply not go out, but as people get very excited about hearing the Pope, that wasn’t very practical advice.”
By using latex to construct the prayer dome, Cardinal Vitelli says believers will be protected from the elements, but in such a way that natural light and sound still gets through. “Latex really is the perfect building material for the dome – it is inexpensive but still strong enough to cope if a crowd unexpectedly swells. And the entire latex dome will be ribbed for pleasurable acoustics and maximum auditory sensation.”
Some Vatican watchers say that while the plan was good in theory, the cost-cutting use of retired priests to assemble the dome could lead to erection difficulties. “We think they will need help from younger hands to ensure they get it up,” noted Italian blogger, Enrico Smithi. “And the dome’s working title of ‘Benedict’s Knob’ probably needs a rethink too.”
The latex dome idea has sparked a wave of enthusiasm from Catholics throughout the world.
“We have already had millions of followers contact us asking us for small replica latex prayer domes – some are so keen they have asked for a whole box load,” said Cardinal Vitelli. “In a stroke of luck, we have managed to source a huge quantity of cheap replica latex domes each small enough to fit in one’s pocket. This means followers who get really excited and have a sudden desire to worship can put a dome on and carry on the good work of the church.”
“And to think some people still accuse Catholicism of not moving into the 20th Century,” said Vitelli.