Police today arrested God for failing to inform the authorities about crimes committed by several priests after He heard confessions from the perpetrators as they sought forgiveness in their prayers.
‘God clearly knew all about these crimes and did not come forward,’ Chief Inspector Dawson told waiting reporters. ‘That makes Him an accessory to these evil acts and for that reason He needs to be brought to book.’
God maintains that He couldn’t remember ever hearing the confessions or where He was on the dates in question, but having not been heard from or seen for two thousand years no one was able to provide Him with an alibi. ‘Just because God is omniscient and omnipresent doesn’t mean He can know everything and be everywhere at once,’ said His solicitor.
But Chief Inspector Dawson remained unimpressed. ‘The problem with these deities is they think they run the place and are above the law.’