Emergency services were called to Downing Street yesterday after a homeowner heard a scream coming from No.11 and found the current tenant, George Osborne, at the bottom of a deep dark hole which had appeared suddenly underneath his office desk.
‘I rushed in and tried to pull George out of his hole, but it was no good,’ said neighbour David Cameron. ‘Even as he disappeared from view he insisted he could dig his way out and that he was heading in the right direction.’
Colleagues had warned Mr Osborne that the place looked structurally unsound. ‘The whole thing was built on shaky foundations,’ said Vince Cable. ‘He must have had a right bunch of cowboys in there.’
Onlookers have questioned whether Mr Cameron responded to the emergency quite as quickly as he could have. ‘I often hear cries for help,’ explained the Prime Minister. ‘I just assumed it was Nick Clegg buried deep in the mire.’