The Queen announced today that in a bid to avoid cuts in their civil list payments, the entire Royal family will be vacating their various residences and moving in to Buckingham Palace by the end of the month.
A spokesman said: ‘We hope that this mother of all house-shares, bringing together all the royal households complete with multiple retinues of ladies-in-waiting, under butlers and corgi-wallahs, will fill the residence enough to satisfy the tax inspectors when they call.’
With Buckingham Palace alone having 240 bedrooms, the Royals feared that the tax could leave them facing difficult choices, such as having either to sell off stocks and shares or buy less racehorses next year.
‘This has been a difficult decision,’ explained Her Majesty. ‘To be frank, one’s recent illness was simply the stomach churning at the thought of facing some of one’s relatives across one’s morning bowl of Bran Flakes. Plus Charles will keep on leaving roller skates at the top of main staircase.’
An approach from Sarah Ferguson to ‘help out’ by also moving in was firmly rebuffed by the monarch. ‘One is not that bloody desperate,’ she said.